The feedback

If you want a better world out there, better people, better services, it starts with you. But if not for the better-ness in the world, at least for your own image, pragmatically, be fair. The world is full of greedy people who only pursue their own interests. Thus, someone who tries, selflessly, to help others, has a huge advantage. 

There is always room for improvement and nobody is above this. Feedback can refer to anything, from a thank you note sent to someone, to a review of a hospitality related business on Tripadvisor, to an email in which we express our opinions on changes in our companies.

In business, if negative feedback is expressed elegantly and above all, clearly, it would not and it should never be perceived as an attack. Make sure then to refer to specific aspects and phrase your feedback as  "This specific aspect  would need improvement'' instead of ’’you always do this!’’ or ’’you never do this!’’. 

Keep in mind the cultural differences though. You will learn this the more you interact with various cultures but here are some guidelines: direct, objective, dry feedback is welcomed in some cultures, such as in the Netherlands, where it is perceived as constructive criticism for the sake of collective progress. Don’t take it to heart! 

In other cultures (USA would fit here) wrapping your negative feedback in a ’’goodness wrap’’ is the better approach, indicating some other parts that are good along the bad ones, to show a good intention behind and to protect people’s feelings.  

Whether it is a restaurant that you are disappointed with or a business whose customer service leaves something to be desired or a colleague in your work environment that is struggling - you want to help them, right? 

Remember, before any review, to take time to rationalise things. Emotions run high after a bad experience but that is also the worst moment to give your feedback. You will not lose anything, but your perspective will change a little after a good sleep. Nobody wakes up in the morning with the sole purpose of ruining your day or disappointing you so for your sake and your image, avoid writing or addressing bad experiences right away, even when faced with an absolutely intentional bad experience, such as a micro-aggression at work, an attack or an unkind insult. 

Even Chris Rock, after being slapped on stage at the Oscars, avoided addressing the incident and took his time to find the best angle. Which he did in his own show, months later. For which he charged money.

Besides, you might be in the wrong sometimes and addressing a bad experience could make you seem ignorant, when done in an emotional manner.  

Potential employers or business affiliates could also see your name attached to ignorant, spiteful reviews so you might want to avoid writing anything compromising in a public digital platform. At least do your research before, sleep over it and if you feel like you should still address it, use your better judgment to find better words. Make it constructive, in the same way that if this was your business or if it was you wronging someone else - this is how you should like to be given feedback. 

And if you want to go the extra mile in giving constructive feedback, make it a habit in your life: did you order something that arrived better than expected? Give a thumbs up. Bought a product that was not up to par? Write to the business, maybe would help them to know. Some website has a bug? Contact their Support with details. Listening to a small podcast? Tell the host you like their work from the other side of the world. Had a lovely, casual dinner at a colleague’s house? Text them the next day and tell them how much you enjoyed it. Was your manager particularly nice to you when explaining some aspect you might need to improve? Tell them that it meant a lot. 

Behind every business and job role there is a human being and we all like to be liked or at least to be told, respectfully, what we could to better, to be liked better. Not all your efforts will be rewarded but this should guide you much in life: other people’s poor behaviour or manners should not be an excuse for yours. You do you, for your own sake and your conscientious contribution to a better society.