Networking

Everyone talks about the importance of networking and about building a “network”, a network of strategic contacts. Countless books and courses on networking have appeared, which refer to all the efforts we make to expand our network of contacts. It's not that hard actually. It's not necessary to apply socialisation strategies and techniques from books, but it's good to have some idea about it and, above all, to constantly cultivate ourselves as agreeable people with whom other people are happy to network.

The secret to a successful networking strategy is not to appear to have a strategy. No one is interested in meeting, chatting, or making small talk with someone who only talks about themselves, their plans, their goals, and what they have to sell. I have attended countless business and networking events and have observed countless people who force things in this direction. They always want to sell their services, they analyse and evaluate each new contact based on how well they can serve their interests. 

 It is blatant behaviour, completely lacking in elegance.

Of course, we cannot not have a strategy at all. We don't go to an event without the hope of returning with a contact, a promise of follow-up, a glimmer of hope that "something might connect." But there's a fine line here, and the skill of being on the safe and graceful side of the line is learned, as long as we have an open mind and common sense.   

 I often hear advice, and I have heard it in the past, even from former bosses, that we must constantly push things, nudge, to force, so that "their money lands in our pockets", and that potential clients don't know they need what we have to sell.

I've been in sales throughout my entire professional career (except when I was a housekeeper in a hotel and a cook's assistant one summer in college) and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that this kind of attitude turns people away. I remember a conversation with a former boss, a very tough guy, who only worked like this and would also bang his fist on the tables in clients' offices. And he didn't understand why I couldn't channel his approach, when for him it was clear that this was the only way you could sell. I explained to him that a man in a position of company founder / CEO acts from a position of power. Things are arranged differently. Attitudes are different. Refusals are more polite. For an employee, be it a Regional Director or a Vice-Something, the efforts have to be different, and developing relationships is essential. My arguments didn't convince him. Instead, he liked my results, although he never admitted that it could work like this: with a smile, with a "Happy Birthday!" phone call, with laughter and discussions about children, and offering a shoulder in need or contact without expecting anything in return, with long-term relationships. 

 Not everything is a "bazaar" so keep this in mind next time you are attending a business event.

A practical guide for your next business event : 

 – RSVP. If you are sent by the company you work for, it is clear that you have to go. However, if you receive an invitation, it is important to respond to the invitation, and as soon as possible, even if it is a negative response. Here is why: you show consideration to the organisers by making their life easier. If you would organise an event you would probably want to know as early as possible how many people would come, right? It costs you nothing to respond but It is disrespectful to imagine that “they will figure it out”. 

 – Do your homework. I would not recommended you to improvise entirely, so here is what to check prior: find out everything you need to know about the schedule, about the guests, about the dress code, about the events within the events, about other companies that are attending, your ''target'' personas (the people you would like to meet), if they've given any interviews lately, if their companies went through some big milestones recently, etc. Of course , you will not talk about your efforts to do your homework, of course you will be nonchalant about it, but it should be done nevertheless.

 – Mind your manners: knowing how to make introductions, presentations, knowing how to greet the host of an event when you get there (when appropriate, of course), knowing that it is more appropriate to wear a name tag on the right shoulder instead of the left shoulder (because naturally, when two people shake hands, the gaze falls more towards the right shoulder of a person’s body), avoiding asking for things “at first” (advice, free consultations or contacts), smiling, shaking hands correctly, knowing that every person wants to be valued as a person, not as “a contact”, all are examples of courtesy that I would like to see more often at events. 

 – “Happiness lies in organization”, is an expression often heard in success books, for a good reason. Therefore, should you attend a business event, such as a conference, make a plan: which people do you want to meet, specifically? Which companies do you want to approach – specifically? How do you find them? How much time do you allocate to the scheduled meetings and the breaks between meetings? How much time do you reserve for a lunch in the middle of an event? Who is in charge of the booth? (if applicable, when a company participates with several employees). What is the standard speech for presenting what you do or what your company does? What outfits do you pack if is a multi-day conference? How will you have access to mobile data traffic if you go to a foreign country? What reservations do you need to make and where? How much time do you spend on different activities?

There are countless questions you need to find the answer to, depending on how extensive an event is and what we want to achieve from an event. 

 One cannot just walk in with a box of business cards, handing them out and hoping for deals to fall out of the sky. You need to have a plan, know what you are after, avoid spending time in your comfortable groups with colleagues or just with people you know, be open to meeting new people, different cultures, and getting out of your personal comfort zone.

But you should also be realistic. If you're set on meeting 20 new people, better set out to meet five and give them a lot more attention. If you're set to come back with a few hundred business cards and scanned contacts, better get ten that really count because you've, perhaps, established a connection with the people behind the cards. If you're set on talking to a certain number of people about what you're selling, better cancel that intention from the start and set out to listen to a certain number of people about their needs. 

 – Any event is an opportunity to learn: what others do, how others do it, how and how not to organise events, market prices, favours that you can return in the future, coffee preferences of the people you're meeting, where is the best place to eat near the event space, etc. These are aspects that are not related to "business", but that, when observed and acted upon, smooth business relationships so much more.

 – Avoid eating. Yes, avoid eating. Of course, do not go starving, you should still fuel yourself but do it so at strategic times and places. I’ve seen people literally camp out on the waiters walking around with trays of food or strategically position themselves along their route so they can grab a bite from each tray every time someone comes out of the kitchen. Sure, you should spend time in the lines that form at the buffet at business events, but you shouldn't actually have a full meal. Have a bite, especially if in the company of people that are eating (no onions, no garlic, no fish, no sausages) but remember - you are not there for the food. And if you nibble at a buffet repeatedly - please - always use a clean plate each time you go in line. It doesn’t look good to walk around with mountains of food on your plates and equally, to walk around with empty dirty plates. You are not really making a difference for any cleaning staff if you reuse your plate. Instead, if you do want to merge business and food, as they do often go well together, better invite a client to a lunch or dinner and treat them well. Eat in peace and if appropriate, you might even have a glass of wine.

 – Be polite in your exits, whether it's a conversation or an event you're withdrawing from. Thank people for their company and time, and thank the host before leaving (if applicable). 

 After the event: 

• Evaluate your personal socialisation efforts: what could you have done better? What didn't you get to do? 

• Put together a report with all new contacts, future promises, each person's needs, email addresses, birthdays, food preferences, etc. It's good to do this while the information is still fresh. This helps you remember people's names better, but also to be much better prepared for future meetings. 

• Follow up with every person you've met, regardless of their “potential” to become a client. Quite the opposite: It is all the more graceful to show gratitude for time or discussions with people with whom you know you have nothing in common, because it appears totally disinterested. By writing to everyone and thanking them and hoping that they felt good, you show courtesy and this guarantees a beautiful start to any kind of professional relationship. 

• Do your expenses as soon as possible. It is the most considerate thing you can do for the company's billing accuracy.

This article was initially published in Juridice.ro